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blooregardo said:
Read Berserk.
you can say i am experiencing overlapping multiple major and minor problems in life that kept on coming in ways i would not expect as the days go by...

Marona762 said:
Find some creative hobby that fulfils you - something creative like drawing or writing, or pick a music instrument you like and learn to play it - a lot of happiness can be derived by just the fact that you feel like you're "Creating" something (that's why I suggested drawing or writing).
There are more technological ways to express creativity too - maybe pick RPG maker a make your own 2D rpg game, or learn coding and make programs to do simple stuff that you may happen to do every day.
i was already at that point before all of these recent events happened... i am very terrified to do the things i do to keep a sense of fulfilment and happiness, as everytime that i do, there is an instant karma-like occurrence that will negate them... with all the random problems popping out of nowhere... i barely have the leisure to have time for myself...

i seem to have developed this strange sleeping pattern where i am constantly dreaming, but at the same time, aware that i am not asleep as i lie on my bed... it's like having a split screen of the mind... i am simultaneously forced to dream even if i'm not fully asleep... some people say it's lucid dreaming... but i am nor aware i am dreaming...

K@tsu said:
you can watch yuru camp or vtuber,
wish the best for you,take care.
i find it extremely difficult to watch things that are supposed to make me laugh or feel good at the time moment... i am currently watching zombieland saga revenge, and to your eternity... both titles focused on topics relatable to my current state... i am pretty sure if i haven't been experiencing the issues i am having, the impact of the messages they are trying to convey will not be as huge as i am feeling right now...

but anyway... i really appreciate you guys taking the time to read and help me out on this...